My afternoon post lunch on Saturday was a horrible drag. I was on a call with my sister, Priyanka, who sounded equally bored with her life, as it turned out for her post her lunch, and however hard we both, (at least I) tried to make the conversation funny, hoping one would start with at least a small chuckle, it only got more annoying. More for her I guess. And you make such guesses only when the person at the other end suddenly remembers she has to make calls to her vendor and what not. However, I managed my bit of fun which comes out of this gifted trait of finding anything funny when I have decided I want to have a laugh. Yeah it sounds a little weird, I know. #weirdcanbegood
Whatever the case, I was better than what I was prior to the call. And even better followed. I had been procrastinating meeting a couple of friends. I guess a stay-at-home atrophy has set in this pandemic and it's getting very hard to break out of that, but that day I decided I would meet my buddies. As if life was seeming less hard then, the thought of spending close to 30 long mins to fit into something seemed an impossibility, with the the boredom and exhaustion that brings, yes it is tiring not worrisome anymore. I have gone past that phase where I used to worry about not fitting into clothes, body shaming comments wrapped in honey dipped questions and words, and all of that long back. And I resolved not to spend on new clothes, and manage with what I have till I start shedding off weight. On a serious note, these things now seem pretty trivial to me given what I had to endure with my mental illness and finally I am reasonably peaceful with some medication. The collateral damage with this particular medicine, is the horrible hunger pangs I get into, even in the middle of night, and the lowering down of my system’s metabolism. I know I am putting in 100 percent in terms of a proper, measured, healthy diet and workouts. I do my best and that’s all there is in my control, worrying every moment about the stubborn weight just does not help me. So it is what it is, and I am really at peace with it. Being peaceful in whatever situation you are in such a blessing! And this is is easiest one. #lifelesson
Anyways, I did not want to get into the futile, exhausting, boring process of trying one attire after the other, emptying out my wardrobe, and shoving everything back again.
A very good friend had made a comment, the profundity of which I realised only yesterday. And it happened in the context of his wife buying a beautiful timeless Kanchipuram Silk Saree for me on my 40th birthday. He said something along the lines of not being able to think what to get for my special day, dresses would give me the joy, gifts usually do, for not more than a week or two, owing to the rate at which I was expanding and 6 yard saree would work for at least a year or two. 🤨So, I pulled off the first cotton one I lay my hands on, and a black top, made for a decent fitting saree blouse. I am not limited to the idea of putting on only fitting tops or blouses with sarees, the point here is this one was loose even 4 months back!
But anyways, I knew for sure I was looking alright! I met up with my buddies and it was a fantastic afternoon-evening-late-night with banter and fun, in and out of Starbucks, the liquor malls and Bistros, with the crowd who were equally hip in their 2020s avatars! So maybe now on, whatever be the case, I would love to have more of cotton sarees in my wardrobe and certainly not limit wrapping these around me only on festivities and special occasions!